If your baby or toddler flips out the moment you leave the room, you’re not alone. Many parents find themselves wondering:
“Is this normal… or are we doing something wrong?”
The good news is, this behavior is a very common stage of child development. Let’s explore what’s really happening in your little one’s mind, why separation anxiety occurs, and practical ways to make it easier on both of you.
Around 6–8 months of age, many babies begin to experience separation anxiety. This happens as they develop something called object permanence—the understanding that people and things still exist even when out of sight.
While this is an exciting developmental milestone, it also comes with a challenge:
Your baby suddenly realises that you, their favorite person, can leave—and the idea that you might not return can feel terrifying. Their response? Tears, tantrums, or refusing to let you out of sight.
This is not a sign something is “wrong.” On the contrary, it shows a healthy attachment between you and your child. But it can make daily life (and daycare drop-offs!) tricky.
It’s easy to feel discouraged if your friends’ babies seem happy to play independently while yours clings to you. But remember:
Every child is unique. Some breeze through this stage quickly, while others take longer.
Social media isn’t reality. Parents often share the best moments, not the meltdowns.
Your child’s attachment to you is normal, healthy, and temporary.
Here are 8 strategies to ease the transition for both you and your child:
Don’t brush off their tears. Let your child express their sadness, reassure them that you’ll return, and stay calm yourself.
If you appear anxious about leaving, your child may pick up on that. Show confidence and trust in their ability to cope.
Practice leaving for short periods and gradually extend the time apart. For example, step into another room for a few minutes, then return.
Babies usually adjust better when left with grandparents, close relatives, or caregivers they already know and trust.
If a babysitter or caregiver is coming over, plan to stay for 20–30 minutes while your child warms up and observes your comfort with that person.
As tempting as it is to avoid a tearful goodbye, sneaking away can increase anxiety. Always say goodbye so your child learns to trust that you’ll return.
Just like a bedtime routine helps children settle, a short and predictable goodbye ritual provides comfort. For example: two hugs, one kiss, a special phrase, and a wave at the door.
Instead of saying, “I’ll be back in two hours,” use their schedule: “I’ll be back after your snack,” or “I’ll see you after nap time.”
It's important to note that the techniques presented here are intended for children with everyday separation anxiety. If you think your child may be suffering from Separation Anxiety Disorder, which is a more severe form of separation anxiety, you should take him or her to the paediatrician for evaluation.
Separation anxiety is a completely normal stage of your child’s emotional development. With patience, consistency, and the strategies above, your little one will gradually learn that goodbyes are temporary—and that you always come back.
Need help getting your child to sleep independently, take longer naps, and sleep through the night? Book a free 20-minute discovery call with our certified pediatric sleep consultant Singapore today and start your journey to better sleep for the whole family.
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